A Fallen Fairy Tale

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early summer comings and goings
Travel and other commitments have kept me super-busy this summer (in a good way, mostly).

My trip to L.A. to see family was really wonderful. It was simultaneously relaxing and stressful, however, because I had so many tasks to accomplish while at home. So in between visiting three of the L.A. area's best farmer's markets with my mom, I also had to revise papers for publication, start research for an independent contracting job, work on my summer syllabus, and work on a conference paper. I felt awful every time I told my mom I had to take a break from cooking or making jam in order to do more reading or writing... but such is the life of an academic, I suppose.

Some highlights of the L.A. trip included:
-a meal at Palate, a truly phenomenal food and wine establishment which was, as I understand, started by one of the Patina group. The "Porkfolio" appetizer alone was worth the trip--house-made salami, mortadella, speck, and other delicacies shone. And if you're veggie, there are plenty of other delectable options (not least of all, dessert: panna cotta and Valrhona chocolate pudding).
-tons of good Mexican food, seafood, sushi, dim-sum, and other regional specialties
-seeing my family, between trips to the Santa Monica farmer's market, the beach, and a dinner party at my parents' house (my mom and I made grilled rotisserie leg of lamb, a grilled baby squash and green bean salad, pasta salad, tiramisu, and an apricot tart)
-cooking and hanging out with my mom, which produced dishes such as creamy wild mushroom soup; cornmeal-crusted trout; Napoletana-style pizza (homemade crust, of course) with three cheeses, tomato sauce, and homegrown basil; almond-cherry biscotti; strawberry liqueur; and two kinds of jam with farmers' market fruits, one strawberry, one apricot
-getting to hang out and reconnect with my friend Jonathan (

lifeofreilly)
-seeing my dog Maya, who is old and infirm, but still living the good life, with lots of walks and good food
-lots of scenic trail-running, from Sage Ranch (up Woolsey Canyon) to Ahmanson Ranch
-rock-climbing at one of the farmers markets, where they had one of those portable rock-walls

Unfortunately, I irritated one of the tendons or ligaments in my left ankle with all the hills I ran, since I guess my body wasn't quite up to it (I went from 1x week of hilly trails in Bloomington to 2-3x week in L.A.) so I've had to take a week off running. *sigh*

I returned to Bloomington in time for the Durga Tour, featuring workshops with Tempest and Asharah; both dancers also led the community-ritual-jam-session Motif, with music provided by Tim Rayborn.

I'm still processing a lot of what happened at Durga--the instruction was excellent, the vibe was positive, and I learned/experienced a lot. I was thrilled to have as much down-time with our guest artists as I did... but then, I suppose it helps to be able to lure unsuspecting guests to my apartment with vegan and gluten-free food to fit everyone's needs. That, and I love geeking out with fellow intellectual- and artistic-types. It was also lovely to get to hang with the Dark Side gals... yay for collaboration!

Currently in NYC, living the big city life before heading to Athens tomorrow. Chris and I have cooked up a storm, danced at least one night away, and generally re-connected, which has been pleasant.

I'm pretty sure I meant to post about other things here, but I've been too busy. Now, back to reading/packing...

food--grrr!
I am beginning to despise sports nutrition with a level of loathing usually reserved for incompetent drivers and people who adopt pets that they cannot then take good care of.

A week and a half ago, I was exercising a lot and eating what felt like enough, and I was at 21% body fat, according to my fancy scale.

Now, I am exercising a lot and eating what feels like enough, and I am at 22% body fat (and 5 lbs heavier, though I don't feel fatter). But I am also getting faint from hunger. This was especially problematic yesterday, when I went for a 45-minute run and danced a bunch at a hafla, and I guess I did not up my calories enough in compensation for all that activity.

I feel like all this training is making eating into a chore, which is something I'd hoped would never happen, because I love food soooo much. Food in almost all of its aspects is a gigantic part of my life, and is especially significant as a creative outlet because I am so passionate about cooking. I think so long as I focus on healthy, whole, and local foods--on preparing as much as I can on my own--and then on sharing said foods with other people, I'll be fine. I tend to get in the most trouble when left to my own devices, 'cause I'll revert to the mentality that I'm sure so many other SoCal residents share of "must starve self to look better." Which obviously is utter bullshit, but it's pretty deeply ingrained since I'm an L.A. native.

To cook today:
-whole wheat spaghetti with a meaty ragu (sauce made from local pork sausage and beef shanks, with an organic Merlot from France I picked out to also go in the sauce)
-flourless chocolate-hazelnut cake (with ground hazelnuts instead of flour... however, I don't like Frangelico enough to keep it around, so I'm replacing the little that the recipe calls for with Amaretto, which I am much more likely to drink, especially with grapefruit juice)
-banana bread... or banana biscotti... hell, I've got enough ripe bananas, I might just make both!
-some kind of exciting vinaigrette to put on a salad
-lightly-topped pizza as an appetizer, using Peter Reinhart's Pizza Americana Dough, which I'm really quite pleased with based on the other uses to which I've put the dough

I will start baking now, and go for a run once my lunch digests (yum, leftover pad thai from Roots). I was supposed to run earlier once breakfast had digested, but Greek yogurt with strawberries, 1/2 a grapefruit, and tea was not enough to keep me un-hungry for 2 hours... STUPID SPORTS NUTRITION!!!

running around and sitting still
Running continues.

( mileage for the last 2 weeks )Overall I feel pretty good about my base training, which is what I'm doing to keep busy and in shape before marathon-training-proper starts later in the summer. I still feel too slow and like I"m bad at hills, but ah well... when I ran with Chris in NY, he said I was doing better than when we first started running together.

I fear that running is going to cut into my other physical hobbies, such as climbing and dancing... I haven't been able to prep as much for my solo at the hafla/recital tonight because my legs were so sore from my 10-mile run, and I certainly couldn't climb as hardcore as I'd've liked to when I tried to go climbing on the same day as my long run (not the best idea, but it was the only day I could climb that week due to travel and plans and stuff). Ah well. I'll find a balance.

My NY trip was great... Chris and I had a lot of fun together, between exploring Brooklyn and enjoying gourmet meals, both from our own kitchen and dining out. We had the legendary Peter Luger's experience--their meat is famous for a reason! We took a spontaneous trip to Philly to visit

wadam and

lindajlee; naturally there was tons of good food, much of it local, in addition to folklore chit-chat and general catching-up. Chris and I found a really tasty Indian restaurant in Yonkers, and hit a happenin' club in Manhattan. I also found time to do some reading and relaxing.

I just finished the revisions on one article (my essay on folklore and feminism, yes, there needed to be another of those, and in my essay I tell you why), and now I've just got two article revisions to go. And a syllabus to finish. All of which means lots of sitting at my laptop, ugh.

OH--and my membership application to the International Society for Folk Narrative Research was accepted! I'm now a member of a prestigious international scholarly group, one that has, like, standards! (2 publications in the field and 2 recommendations from current members) I feel all accomplished... I wonder how many graduate student members there are...? Surely there are some, but most of the names I recognized on the member list belong to professors...

And tonight there shall be dancing (see above about hafla). Time to get prettied up!

victory! publication, travels, etc.
It looks like my paper on the influence of feminist spirituality on Tarot deck creation will in fact be published in an anthology, due to appear in/around 2011! Thanks to everyone who helped out with it... I still have some revisions to do, and scans of individual cards to fiddle with, but this looks like a pretty certain thing at this point.

I've been in NYC this week with my boy; we took a culinary tour of Brooklyn and spontaneously spent a day and a night in Philly visiting with my folklore/food peeps there. Tonight we've got dinner plans and a club to hit.

My moods oscillate between excited and relaxed... perhaps this is that odd and reticent state known as contentment? Now if only I could pack in more hours per day for research and reading-for-pleasure and sleep and exercise...

come on, people, I'm not the only one, right?
Poll #1395753 Is Structuralism Sexy?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

If you see someone carrying a book titled "Structuralism" do you think that's sexy?

View Answers

For sure.
19 (57.6%)

No.
10 (30.3%)

What's structuralism?
4 (12.1%)

If a book on structuralism doesn't do it for you, what kind of book title would turn you on?

View Answers

Er, now back to reading Structuralism, Second Edition by John Sturrock.

local reflections
I've had some fantastic meals from mainly-local ingredients, with more on the way.

This weekend at the farmer's market, I was introduced to the "bacon crack" man, a.k.a. Fiedler Farms. I bought a small grass-fed sirloin steak, which he recommended that I marinate before cooking. I also bought a whole free-range chicken from Schacht Farm, whose chickens I've enjoyed in the past.

I also acquired some locally-raised produce, because

d_c_m and her hubby have joined a CSA (Community-Supported Agriculture) and generously let me get in on it... because as a person living alone who's traveling a fair bit this summer, it didn't make much sense for me to join one by myself.

Some of that bounty included oyster mushrooms, fresh basil, and chives. I thought about what to do with those, and with the sirloin, and I decided to try making an Asian-flavored stir fry. Granted, I don't have much experience with Asian cooking, in part because living in a co-op where "just add soy sauce!" seemed to be the prevailing attitude about stir fries, which was kinda a turn-off. So I decided to try something a tad more complex. I combined soy sauce, sesame oil, chopped basil and chives, lemon juice, and an Indian garlic-chile sauce that a friend had given me, and then I cubed the sirloin and tossed it in. After letting it marinate in the fridge for an hour, I took it out, and stir-fried it in canola oil with some minced garlic. I served it over rice, and it was quite tasty! Not necessarily authentic Asian cooking of any particular ethnicity, but better than anything I'd made in the past.

Now I've still got this chicken, and while I was going to cut it up and use it in a New Coq au Vin recipe (using homemade chicken broth and Riesling instead of the water and white wine combo the recipe suggests, and adding thyme from the CSA as well), I think I'll save the Coq au Vin for later in the week, and instead keep this chicken whole and do a Beer-Butt Chicken on the grill. This is one of my dad's favorite recipes: open a can of cheap beer, take two sips, then stuff in some savory fillings: garlic cloves and whatever fresh herbs are on hand. Wedge the chicken atop the beer can, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and grill til done. I'll probably serve it with a salad, maybe some kind of grain side dish as well.

So yay for local yummy foods. After July 1, when my travels end and I'll consistently be back in B'ton for the remainder of the summer, I may start up a little herb garden again, and see how long I can go without killing it. I was planning on doing the usuals--basil, rosemary, thyme, maybe some cilantro and parsley and oregano as well--but I may have let some more competent gardeners than I talk me into trying some easy lettuces and tomatoes on my porch. I think I would feel ridiculously pleased with myself if I managed to get foods other than herbs to grow.

On the other hand, I do have to indulge on non-local foods occasionally, both for reasons of taste and to eat enough of a diverse diet to support how active I am... for instance, I bought avocados and shrimp the last time I was at Trader Joe's. I tossed the shrimp with lemon juice, olive oil, crushed garlic cloves, cumin, paprika, and salt, and cooked it in my grill pan on skewers. That was tasty. And with the avocados, I'll probably eat some of them on an arugula salad with the leftover shrimp and with goat cheese (not local this time around--though the goat cheese I bought at Trader Joe's comes from a small Vermont farm, so at least my purchase supported small farmers). I have a small bunch of radishes from the CSA, and I'll probably eat those with some of the avocados too, tossing them with Bragg's liquid aminos and sesame oil, since the Bragg's sorta-kinda tenderizes the radishes and takes away some of their characteristic bite than long ago turned me off radishes.

I imagine I'll navigate a balance between local and non-local eating eventually... on the whole, though, my taste buds and my ethics agree that I'm not doing too badly thus far.

running WIN
After last weekend's fail-run, I felt I needed to takes steps ensure success in my running goals this week.

Which is not precisely why I found myself going for a run in the rain at 6:30 am on Tuesday morning, but hey, it got me running, and it worked (and it prevented me from getting a ticket since I'd left my car downtown on Monday night due to goth night becoming heavy-drinking night, hence the decision to leave my car where parked instead of driving it home).

Road-running in Bloomington is interesting; the slight hills make for a bit of a challenge, and I got a good workout leaping over cracks in the sidewalk and dodging recycling bins. The places where there was no sidewalk at all were the most entertaining (i.e., I had to stay on my toes to avoid cars).

Thursday morning I did speed intervals on the treadmill because it was raining.

Yesterday, I successfully ran 8 miles, and ran the whole time. I felt very pleased with this accomplishment. I think a lot of it had to do with pacing: once I slowed down from the 10-min-mile I tend to do over shorter distances to a 10 1/2-min-mile, I felt fine the whole time... no urge to walk, and the only wheezing and huffing came from whatever allergy-reaction is currently inhabiting my throat. I'm sure I sounded awful the whole time I ran, but I felt great. Well, a tendon on the inside of my right ankle started aching during the run, but once I'd elevated and iced it afterward, it returned to normal, and hasn't given me trouble since.

So this was a 14-mile week. I'm aiming to run 4 days next week instead of 3, and up my mileage slightly too (but no more than a couple of miles--I've read you're only supposed to increase your mileage 10% per week). If anyone local wants to come along on a short/easy run on Tuesday morning or afternoon, let me know... I was thinking 2 miles, and a run/walk combination is fine, I can slow down my pace no problem.

Now, if only my headache and allergy-sinus-throat infestation would go away. And if only my uterus would stop violently rejecting my Diva cup. These things would make me very happy.

a tale of epic girlfriend fail and a marathon
I managed to spectacularly fail as a girlfriend recently. See, Chris's birthday is in October, and last year I didn't get to spend his birthday with him because I was at the American Folklore Society (AFS) conference. Which was not in itself a catastrophe (although I nearly didn't get to wish him a happy birthday because I was stuck in panels and chairing meetings all damn day), but we agreed that we'd look into running a marathon together for his 30th birthday this year.

What do I do? I submit a proposal to be part of a panel for AFS this year, and reserve a hotel room... all without really looking at the dates, or mentioning any of this to Chris, since I was busy, stressed, etc.

You can guess where this is going. The conference falls over his birthday again, ruining any plans we might've made to run a marathon that weekend. I invited him to come hang out at the conference, but, well, it's in Boise, Idaho, and I can't blame him for not wanting to tag along. I felt really bad for spacing on when his birthday is, and I've apologized.

So we came up with another race to run--the Wineglass Marathon in Corning, NY, on October 4th. Apparently it's not too long a drive from where Chris lives in NYC, so we can make a weekend trip of it. The course looks pretty and not too terribly rugged (it's a popular Boston qualifier). And WINE. And refreshments and massages available at the finish line.

All this means we've got to actually start training for the marathon, now that there's a date set and it's not just some looming possibility. I'm following something along the lines of the Marathon Rookie plan, which goes for 16 weeks prior to the race, once you've achieved a base of 15-ish miles per week.

Great, I thought to myself, I'll do a long run today--bad idea, as I was sore from hilly speedwork on Thursday and African dance last night. Trying to do 8 miles felt like it was going to kill me, but once I slowed down and incorporated some walking breaks, I was able to finish the run. My legs are the most sore they've been since, hm, probably the last time I did an intensive floorwork workshop. I cooled down, stretched, and then collapsed in a miserable heap on my living room floor, leaving Chris with instructions to tell me to get up in 20 minutes to make sure I ate something. Since then, I've managed to be on my feet long enough to do some dishes, take a shower, and later on making whole-wheat fusili with bacon, butternut squash, and sage. I took a nap, too... my body was just too worn out to do much else!

Does anyone have any marathon--or training in general--stories to share? I'll feel better knowing I'm not alone in this agony...

shoes. i need them.
I discovered today to my chagrin that my favorite pair of flip-flops from long ago, a pair of Borns, aren't that comfortable anymore. They're made of leather and for whatever reason this pair isn't as grippy as the pair I recall adoring back in Berkeley, so my feet can't find good purchase on the sole and I ended up expending way more energy walking than I want to. Luckily I have another pair of flip flops that work pretty well, I just didn't happen to slide them on during my mad dash out the door this morning.

But I need another pair of warm weather shoes, and they can't be just any shoes. Because I'm spending 2 weeks in Greece this summer, I expect to do a lot of walking, so I need super-comfy shoes. As adorable as ballet flats are, they're too flimsy to offer as much support as I'll need. I also want close-toed shoes, in case we end up hiking around the Acropolis or whatever. Ideally these shoes would look equally nice with skirts or capris, and I could wear them during the day while exploring or while in conference panels, or out at night (though I might bring a pair of dress heels just in case we go somewhere fancy).

Suggestions plz? My feet are rather normal... I don't have terribly high or flat arches, and I don't pronate or supinate. The main problem is that my feet are very sensitive; if a pair of shoes chafes, I develop welts and blisters alarmingly fast. They take a while to heal, too (although, oddly, I don't tend to get too many calluses... but we'll see how that goes when my long runs hit double-digit mileage).

I'd love to find shoes that are comfortable yet not hideous-looking, and ideally not terribly expensive either... I suppose there's the zappos.com route since they have free return shipping, but any guidance is helpful...

on the list of reasons to have Twitter...
"At a local bar. Karaoke was canceled. Bluegrass band instead. Oh god I'm in Indiana!"

"Funk band up next. At least this means I'm in Bloomington."

...so, Twitter. The future of communication, or THE DEVIL?!?!11?!

Discuss.

sweet things... starting off 27 right!
Thanks to everyone who's sent me birthday wishes, and thanks also to anyone who may send them in the future, or even simply pause to think a nice thought (more often than not that's what I do when I see it's someone's birthday... I may or may not get around to commenting, but I usually manage to think, "aw, happy birthday!").

Enjoyed breakfast in bed courtesy of my sweetie, and he gave me presents to open in bed too! I think the tights with skull-and-crossbones patterns are my favorite (I'll have to decide whether to wear them to E's, or the Bird for karaoke on Monday night, or both!).

Today, we've got errands and party prep, plus a function for my department to swing by in the afternoon. I'm so excited for tonight, I love having people over yet I've been really hermity for the last few months, go figure...

taking stock part 2
I think what I meant to get at more in my "taking stock" post was to address the question of what I'd done in the last year. 'Cause sure, the last 27 years have been awesome, but have I accomplished anything in particular in the last revolution around the sun?

The answer is complicated.

On the one hand, I took my qualifying exams. And passed. Which is pretty huge. Definitely worthy of celebration, as it vaulted me to ABD (All But Dissertation) status, meaning there's only one hurdle--the diss--remaining before I have the letters P, H, and D attached to my name. I designed a syllabus for and taught my very own Women's Folklore class, which turned out to be pretty rockin'. I performed at Tribal Fest, a roller derby, GenCon, and other venues.

On the other hand, I spent nearly half of 2008 in an intolerable living situation that depressed me so much I could barely function. My productivity dropped to almost nothing--I was teaching, but able to do little else. But then I got my own place, learned how to live alone (which I love, btw), and worked on becoming a functional human being again. So I'm getting there, slowly but surely. Learning how to trust and be intimate again (to qualify that statement: I adore physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy scares the shit out of me).

So, I feel like I haven't accomplished as much as I should've in the past year, but I've had a lot to overcome, to the point where reestablishing what's normal and what's live-able in my life needed to be prioritized, like, tons. In the same vein, I've been learning to step outside my comfort zone more frequently and in more ways, which I think is a good way of experiencing what life has to offer, and growing as a person. Which I realize sounds kinda new-agey and vague, but go figure, if the phrase fits...

birthday plans... proceeding!
I have retrieved my New York boy from the airport and hit Trader Joe's for party munchies... all is proceeding according to plan, mwahaha! If you're local and I somehow managed not to invite you to the birthday party I'm having tomorrow night, shoot me an email and I'll send you the details (or you can just show up at my apartment around or after 8 pm). Wine, food, chillin', groovin', etc.

This weekend will probably involve rock climbing and at least one trip to Uncle E's, maybe the Bird if they've got a good show lined up. I want to take Chris to one of my favorite spots to run, and we will probably also (finally) watch The Dark Knight together, cook some good food, and so on.

OH! And my dance troupe is performing on Saturday! Free festival at 3rd St. Park, we're taking the stage at 3:30 pm. So come see some belly dance if you're free!

Finally, spring weather seems to have come to Bloomington... this and the cute boy next to me are conspiring to put me in a good mood.

taking stock
Just found out I did not receive highly.pre$tigiou$ dissertation fellowship I'd applied for.

Just signed lease to stay in Bloomington next year.

On the one hand, I'm kinda relieved, because this particular fellowship would've required me to finish my diss in a year, and I'm not as far along on the research as I would've liked, so I would've had to scramble to catch up (while living very comfortably, mind you). On the other hand, there aren't many more diss fellowships that I can apply for, at least not until next year.

So my funding situation for the academic year 2009-2010 is, um, questionable at best. I can keep teaching in addition to working 1-2 other jobs in order to (barely) make enough to live on, which in turn does not leave me enough time to work on my diss (since I need to, you know, sleep and exercise and occasionally get out of my apartment). I can see whether I can take out a loan to live on next year, in order to work full-time on my diss. I can see whether a slight shift in my topic from one aspect of medical narratives to another aspect of medical narratives yields more funding faster (I actually have a lead on something here, but the logistics remain tentative). Then there are plenty of grants I could apply for later on, which would fund me for the 2010-2011 academic year, possibly letting me go on the job market while still technically getting paid to write my diss, since most diss fellowships cover a full year's worth of funding, even if you finish early.

Bottom line: it's unlikely that I'll have a finished dissertation by the end of 2010. 2011 looks far more possible. At least I'll still be under 30 at that point.

This news, and the ensuing decision-making, is putting me in an oddly reflective frame of mind right now, coming up on my 27th birthday on Friday. What have I done in 27 years? Gotten a bachelor's from UC Berkeley, and a master's from Indiana U, and completed everything for my Ph.D. except for the dissertation. I've taught a bunch, and traveled a bunch, and become known in my field for presenting at conferences and publishing waaay more than most grad students do. I've become involved in a dance community, on both regional and national levels, as a performer and teacher and friend and model. I've become a near-expert bad-ass when it comes to cooking and baking, not to mention enjoying food, the more gourmet the better. I've become proficient at rock-climbing, running, and weight-lifting. I've retained ties to family and friends all over the country, and acquired new friends and colleagues and acquaintances along the way. I've mentored and nurtured others, and been on the receiving end as well. I've learned a little something about how to artistically express myself through clothing, jewelry, body art, dance, food, and other sensuous media/forms/genres.

Not a bad list, I suppose. I've mostly failed to prioritize romantic-type relationships, though I like to think I've learned something from every encounter. I'm not as far along on the "personal development" path as I'd like to be (sorry, fresh out of compassion as usual!). I'm not as fit or muscular as I'd like to be. I don't eat as healthy/local/organic as I would like to. I'm not as financially independent as I'd like to be. There are times when I'm downright lazy, crazy, selfish, and/or irresponsible.

But hey, if I had everything worked out, life wouldn't be as challenging anymore, and goodness knows I prefer to be challenged over being bored...

New Orleans
I came. I saw. I rode the mechanical bull.

Seriously. There might even be pictures.

Our wonderful hosts Rach-the-anime-pooka, James-the-massage-angel, and Chrisina-queen-of-honey showed me and Kevin a good time. Mainly in the form of amazing food and alcohol and lots of fun ventures. This, in between me attending the Popular Culture/American Culture Associations' GIGANTIC conference. Honestly, the conference was so huge it felt disjointed to me. I attended all the Tarot panels and chilled with the Tarot peeps, which involved seeing some awesome papers and getting some good feedback on mine so I can try to publish it.

I kinda wish at least one of the panels had ended in a shouting match or with all the participants heading to the bar to continue the discussion. Or both. I think folklore conferences and ICFA have spoiled me in that regard.

But on the whole PCA was interesting; in addition to Tarot stuff, I attended a talk by Ms. Mentor, the academy's equivalent of Miss Manners, and I also participated in a workshop titled "dancing with the orishas," which was fascinating and fun.

New Orleans itself was simply wonderful. We ate at the St. James Cheese Company; La Boulangerie, which had amazing pastries; Rio Mar, which was a Spanish seafood restaurant (need I saw more?); La Divina of the creatively overwhelming gelato selection; Yo Mama's, which makes awesome burgers; Juan's Flying Burrito--ZOMG strawberry mojitos; and Central Grocery, home of the original muffaletta. We did a wine tasting at WINO, which is what I'm modeling my birthday party after (kinda, in a perfect world). And of course we drank our way up and down Bourbon Street one night, which is where the mechanical bull incident took place. After hitting the two main pirate bars--The Pirate Bar and Jean Lafitte's--as well as Pravda, Pat O'Brien's (home of the hurricane), and a hip hop club where I danced a whole bunch. Oh, and we went to Live Sex Acts, where the dancers were only okay... when I look at the stage and think I could do better, despite having no stripping or pole-dancing experience whatsoever... yeah.

I went for 3 runs around the Garden District, past the Commander's Palace and the Lafayette Cemetary, past all kinds of gorgeous houses with wrought-iron overhangs and creeping vines and weeping statues, past blocks of the Irish Channel where I got honked at and whistled at, past trendy shops and cafes on Magazine Street, past the street-car rails on St. Charles... good times.

I really adore New Orleans, and would consider moving there if a university wanted to offer me a job, and if I could make my peace with the weather down there. Not only do I dislike humidity (so does my wardrobe, and my books), but I'm also not sure how I feel about living somewhere with hurricanes. Somehow living somewhere with earthquakes and wildfires seems like a much better idea.

But to live where Trashy Diva is based, and where I can buy locally roasted coffee from CC's (Community Coffee), where seafood is plentiful, where friends and their cats reside in an awesome house with a gorgeous kitchen? A girl, specifically a dancer/foodie/doctoral candidate who wants to grow up to be a professor of Cool Things, can dream.

New Orleans trip: commenced!
We've arrived in New Orleans, been greeted by marvelous friends and cats... the 14-hour car ride provided adventures and inside jokes and opportunities for rockstar-dom, but of course I'm glad it's over.

Tomorrow: French Quarter and pedicure (score!), Thursday and Friday will be spent in conference (Tarot, orisha dancing, etc), and Saturday will likely be more New Orleans livin'/lovin' (plus inhaling as much seafood and local cuisine as possible).

Woohoo!

physical wtf + dreams
I must've pulled a muscle in my neck while rock-climbing on Sunday... first, sudden stabbing pain and now a dull ache whenever I turn or tilt my head to the right. I iced it on the first day and henceforth have employed hot compresses, long hot showers, and massages to help try to fix it... plus I've "taken it easy" by doing no physical activity other than running since then. I am indeed feeling better, but I probably won't rock climb or lift weights for another few days... dancing, on the other hand, is mandatory. At least now I know to always warm up my neck...

I've also started to reevaluate my nutritional needs. I doubt I'm getting enough protein, and with as much muscle as I'm carrying around these days, that's probably a problem. If I weigh around 130 lbs and have around 21% bodyfat, that leaves a lot of me that's muscle, as I understand it. And according to what I've been reading, both in print and online, the "average woman" (who probably weighs more than me and is less fit) requires about 50 grams daily of protein... and I suspect I'm not even hitting 40. I'd imagine I should be getting closer to 60 or 70 grams of protein a day, maybe even more. Thoughts?

Part of the problem is that I'm such a hippie, I just love munching on fresh fruits and veggies, which does wonders for my fiber intake... and while I'm not vegetarian, I don't believe I need to eat animal products every single meal. I already do low-fat dairy like Greek yogurt, legumes such as nuts and beans, and similar sources of protein on a near-daily basis... but now I'm starting to think I should incorporate a protein shake at least a few times a week, maybe on weight-lifting days.

Advice/anecdotes from health-minded people are welcome... I should probably just suck it up and see a nutritionist, but I want to try to fix my dietary habits on my own first.

On the dream front, I had a near-lucid dream two nights ago where I thought I'd woken up and was trying to turn on the lights but all the power in my apartment was out... which later led me to realize that it'd been a dream, although it felt very real. And last night, I dreamed that I was trying to do a fieldwork project where I was collecting personal narratives and reminiscences from museum-goers, but that project didn't work out for some reason, so instead I tried to do a study of an Asian restaurant's interior design and customary culture, connecting the two as an organic, expressive whole (studying how the artistic choice to place a large fish tank with a shark in it in the middle of the restaurant influenced the customs that arose in the restaurant, in regard to where people would sit, how they'd act, what games they would play, and so on).

Only a folklorist would have these dreams, srsly. But I think having an ethnographic dream last night helped me tune in to a potential research topic locally, depending on how my diss funding situation goes, which I won't know for another two weeks, sigh.

other spring break tidbits
During spring break part the first, I went out to NYC to visit my boyfriend, Chris, and we had a really lovely time. There was food porn, climbing, and ridiculous amounts of sappy "us" time. I always complain that he eats a lot of meat, so he made me a delicious eggplant parmigiana meal on the first night that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the trip. Which is to say, yay hedonism.

We celebrated St. Patrick's Day by combining our family's traditions: I made Irish soda bread, and he made corned beef reubens. We also caught some of the parade that clogged up 5th Ave, but mostly that afternoon we enjoyed an extended lunch at the Gotham Bar and Grill. Very delicious.

We also caught Watchmen on the IMAX; seeing it made me want to re-read the comic, although I know the gender roles will re-disappoint me. On the whole I found the film to be entertaining, if very violent and disturbing, but I know that was part of the point. I enjoyed the worldbuilding and the Silhouette, wishing I'd seen more of both (although I nearly cried during the opening credits, when the hippie girl with the flower? yeah... that hit a bit too close to home, that could've been my mom, or me....).

We climbed once more at Valhalla, which was a completely amazing experience, and I was pleased to be climbing a consistent 5.7 and V0.

I handed Chris volume I of Promethea and Charles de Lint's short story collection Dreams Underfoot. Between the reading and the vegetarian cooking, his training is progressing quite nicely...

ICFA 2009: hijacked!
Hijackings, kidnappings, and disappearances were the theme of this year's ICFA, the annual meeting of The International Association for the Fantastic in the Arts. Er, that was my personal theme, at least... the conference's theme was "time and the fantastic," which dovetailed rather well with the paper I delivered.

I flew into Orlando on Wednesday afternoon, and got to do a fair bit of hanging out with old friends and making of new friends before turning in early in order to give my paper on the first morning panel. My paper, "Recovering the Goddess in Modern Fantasy: Scholarly and Spiritual Theories of Matriarchal Prehistory" was very well-received. At least half a dozen people asked to see copies, and not all were because I read too fast as usual. The other papers on my panel, Women in Myth, were fairly interesting; I ended up chatting with one of the panelists, Sandra Lindow, and buying her latest book of poetry.

A number of the panels, forums, and discussions I attended were on the use of time in fantasy literature; as such, they were quite interesting. Getting to see Swedish Stefan #1 actually read his paper was lovely as both of us are normally too busy running around to attend each other's talks. I pointed out in one discussion how static-fantasy time (think David Eddings, where cultures interact but do not influence or change one another much for thousands of years) may be related to early anthropological concepts of cultures as static rather than dynamic. This sort of intellectual-history-of-ideas approach to expressive forms really appeals to me, and it's something I may pursue further.

I attended the Guest of Honor luncheon with author Guy Gavriel Kay as the speaker, and later that day I chaired a panel where his works were the topic, and he showed up and made some comments on the papers. He and I struck up a conversation that lasted a good long while, marking the first of many such amusing and unexpected displacements. I've read a handful of Kay's books, none of the recent ones, but we didn't discuss those so much as feminism, food politics, and Cartesian mind-body dualism. If you've read his historical fantasies, as they're called, you'll know that he's a really intelligent man, but he's also a marvelous conversationalist, and I'm really glad I got to talk to him as much as I did (though I did not set out to kidnap one of the conference's Guests of Honor, I promise).

I also helped lead the Cultural Identities Caucus meeting, and later on dropped in on the Student Caucus's late-night role-playing game session. Drawn by some unearthly force to the Call of Cthulhu table, I chose to play a vapid 1920s socialite... and I'm afraid I got a little too into it, as I felt compelled to explain to the players who I didn't already know that I'm not this much of a ditz, like, honestly.

Panels on children's lit and YA, as well as author readings for my friends Marie Brennan and Stefan Hogberg (who is Swedish Stefan #2) occupied much of my Friday, coupled with chilling poolside and hitting the gym. I also managed to visit the gym on Saturday to run 5 miles on the treadmill. Friday night included parties and hanging out and all kinds of interesting conversations, with Renaissance scholar Don Riggs, media scholar Stefan Hall (yet another Stefan!), and a ceremonial magician whose name escapes me.

I saw papers by many fellow grad students, such as Margaret-who-works-on-steampunk-lit, and Jude-of-horror-affiliations, while I missed many of my comrade's papers, like Jamie's, Sami's, Liz's, and Andrew's. I managed to see a few Important People speak... some were more impressive than others.

My own paper, which I'd entered for the Student Paper Prize, won an honorable mention. Which is nothing to cry over, especially since Brian Attebery asked me to consider submitting it to the Journal of the Fantastic in the Arts, which I shall do once I can manage some revisions this summer (I'm also in the midst of revising my paper on stereotypes of Gypsiness in fantasy lit for them). Still, I would've liked to win, as this was my second time entering and getting an honorable mention.

Overall? Much of the conference was made wonderful by my roommates Bryn, Darja, and David, since I rarely see them anymore and catching up was really nice. I found a good balance between bringing my own foods in order to do the conference on the cheap, and sharing meals with others (Trader Joe's trail mix = made of win). Next time I'll have to bake more goodies to share. I definitely drank a lot of wine, but not too much, and I enjoyed all of the ensuing escapades.

I have family in Orlando, and they whisked me away on Sunday for lunch and strolling an art fair in Winter Park before dropping me off for my evening flight back to Indiana. I only get to see this branch of the family once a year, sometimes less, so it was lovely to catch up.

I think I am finally caught up on sleep and in my journal, or getting close, so now I relapse into the bittersweet memories (which are perhaps not as poignant as last year's, or as compellingly awesome as the previous year's)... but I have to say, this is my 4th consecutive year of attending ICFA, and it gets better every time. I can only aspire to do the same, as a scholar, a dancer, and a human being.

spring break came and went (along with my sleep and/or sanity)
Travel to NYC and Orlando was awesome, except that I had to pay a steep price in sleep and dreams. The conference was a blast; much intellectual discourse and many fascinating conversations occurred. I ought to be able to fit in a conference-overview post sometime in the next few days before things get crazy again.

Also a heads-up: my birthday is on Friday April 17th, and I'll probably throw a party of some sort to celebrate. Chris is flying out to spend my birthday with me so I will most likely enlist his help in beautifying my apartment so we can have some kind of shindig. Details forthcoming.

excitement about belly dance! watch out, may be contagious!
Wow, so our Bloomington Belly Dances event was truly fabulous! I didn't get to see every performance due to scurrying around backstage, but what I did see was awesome. So many well-thought-out pieces, so much good energy both on and off the stage!

Better yet,

doctorcurly captured a number of the pieces and posted them to his Youtube channel. I was thrilled with how my pieces came out, so here are links:

Here's the first half of my solo, to "Serpent's Kiss" by Solace. And here's the second half of my solo, to "Pharisee's Prayer also by Solace. I'm wearing the hair belt made by

anaar of Tombo Studio... it worked really well for all the hip work I did!

Finally, here is the duet Margaret and I performed as Different Drummer, to "Muy Cansado" by Funkadesi. We used a lot of our own tribal improv cues, though we choreographed it in advance.

I had a lot of fun performing both pieces, which is a new thing for me as I tend to get really, really nervous before/during/after performing. But I'm glad to report that there was very little shaking and no nausea this time!

If you watch the vidoes, please tell me what you think!

Bloomington Belly Dances! tomorrow night!
Yep, here is me on the flyer (downloadable at the event's page).

If you're in B'ton, please consider dropping by, it will be a marvelous show! And if anyone wants to go out dancing afterward... well... I'm open to suggestions!

And to all my peeps at the Gothla this weekend... rock on, I miss you all!

Bloomington Belly Dances!
This userpic? Is on the poster for Bloomington Belly Dances! (there's a pdf of the poster available on the website) The performance is this Friday night at the Waldron, doors at 7 and show at 7:30 and tix $10 in advance, and I'm super-excited to be dancing with Different Drummer and doing a solo (to songs by Solace from the Nagari CD).

I guess I can now check "be the poster-child for a belly-dance event" off my to-do list. I'm just amused because apparently the graphic design guy saw this pic among all those that had been submitted as publicity materials and decided to run with it.

If you're near or in B'ton, please consider coming to the show!

family time!
My parents fly into Indy today, hot on the trail of the Handemade Bicycle Show. My dad is a bike nut, so he will be at the show this weekend... while my mom and I will go shopping, I guess? I'm glad the weather's gotten warmer for their visit... in the 40s and rainy is much better than below the 20s and snowy. And besides, they are excited to use the "hamster tubes" that connect much of downtown Indianapolis and ensure that you don't have to set foot outdoors much if you're sticking to those few blocks with lots of stuff in them.

I imagine we'll eat lots of nummy food (I'm thinking about making a reservation at Palomino for tomorrow night; Chris took me there last week and it was a delicious meal!) and get to hang out and we'll probably Skype with

sealchild in Italy. It'll be a nice break.

Then back to B'ton on Saturday for evening things, and dance practice on Sunday, and maybe I'll come back up to have dinner with my parents before they depart. Hopefully I can get some grading and reading in during the visit. I also want to use the fitness room at the hotel we're staying at... I had to skip the long run I'd planned for today because I did something horrible to my left quad in break dance on Tuesday (I was doing a move to get me down to the floor that essentially was a one-legged squat, I realized in retrospect, and those are really tough on one's muscles if one is not accustomed to them, hence the acute pain I've been feeling since then, making it hard for me to go up and down stairs or even walk without limping).

Oh and I had another idea for the "heroes and villains" theme: Veronica Franco, 16th-century Venetian courtesan. She was damn smart and sexy and was one of the few women of her era to leave behind published poetry. However, I don't think I actually feel like wearing a corset and I don't think I have time to put together a decent costume, so I'll leave that idea for another time... I'll simply re-watch "Dangerous Beauty" and drool and sigh...

thoughts on heroes/villains
Chapel Perilous is next Tuesday, with a theme of heroes and villains:

Apart from my feminist rage about why there aren't any women pictured on the "heroes" section of the picture, I find myself looking forward to the event because I'm excited to see what kinds of costumes people come up with.

Me? No clue what I'm going to wear. My main three ideas are:
-Promethea (find something vaguely Egyptian-styled)
-Trinity from The Matrix (borrow vinyl dress from

dznblackroses, slick hair back and pretend it isn't really really long)
-Hera (idea from my sis; get decked out in peacock stuff and act jealous/bitchy all night)

Since I'll just be getting out of break dance class at 9:30 I need an outfit that can come together fairly quickly... but I'm also struggling with what the idea of a hero is. Honestly, I don't know who my heroes are. I also don't know who I regard as villains (other than the obvious, like dictators and fascists and genocide-supporters and such).

What makes someone a hero? Is the very term "hero" gender-biased? Who are your heroes? (in mythology, fiction, real life, etc.?)

What makes someone a villain? Who do you consider to be villains?

If you're going, what are you wearing? What on earth should I wear?! (bonus points for feasibility)

dreams & realities
I dreamed that I got some text tattooed in the middle of my spine, but I don't remember what the block of words said. And then I was like, crap, I can't post pics to Facebook because my dad just joined and friended me!

Which is true (the part about my dad, not the part about the tat). My father is now on Facebook. I'm not certain how I feel about this... my sister and aunt are already on, but my sister already knows most of the incriminating things about me, and my aunt is really cool and she understands the urge to get inked... so... yeah. Fewer indecent Facebook posts, more cryptic ones to come.

I am feeling anywhere from mildly annoyed to very frustrated at most people I know, which tells me, if I am being honest with myself, that my real problem is with me. Something else to ponder as I continue to be insanely busy.

coffee yummy + visit
Thank goodness for coffee... I didn't sleep well last night for various reasons, including the wind... I can never shut it out.

This week is super-busy, I'm trying to get tons of work done so I can have some free time to spend with Chris 'cause he's flying out this Sunday-Friday (15th-20th) to visit. Yeah, it's after Valentine's Day proper, but that's a holiday I've never really cared for (except as an excuse to consume chocolate and/or demand pampering). Chris and I are already pretty booked--between visiting his sister in Cincy as soon as I grab him from the airport, me having to be on IU campus 2 days that week for my grading job, wanting to drag him to at least one dance class that week, and bringing him up to do a guest lecture in my children's folklore class on Thursday about children's musical theatre. So I don't know whether I'll manage to put together a "come hang out with my out-of-town boyfriend" social event, especially because Thursday's already occupied by my class up in Indy (hence no martini night).

Then again, lately "being busy" has been my excuse for not socializing like, ever. I keep telling myself nothing is wrong with being hermity almost 24/7 if it means I'm super-productive, but then I either feeling guilty about rarely seeing my friends or I get antsy for short bursts of time before wanting to return to my solitude. Such is the scholar's life, eh?

sleep--I miss it + ink
The sleep faeries have not been kind to me lately.

I've been waking up around 4:30 am 2-3x/week with my stomach in knots. Yeah, part of it is probably stress, which is normal for me... but I also worry that I'm not eating enough. Which is ridiculous, since I'm doing everything I can to be healthy. I space out my meals, eating 4-5x/day, I eat tons of fresh fruits and vegetables, along with whole grains, low-fat dairy, legumes, and lean protein sources. But I'm not a nutritionist, and I have no idea whether I'm meeting my caloric needs since I'm active 5-6 days a week... like, really active, often working out more than once a day. Because I run 3-4x/week, dance 3-4x/week, rock climb, lift weights, and so on, so it's inevitable that some of my exercise days overlap. And it's not exactly easy to calculate my caloric intake when almost every meal I eat it something I prepared myself... how many calories in baked winter squashes stuffed with quinoa-mushroom pilaf and topped with romano cheese, or in Mediterranean-style shrimp stew with tomatoes and other veggies? I don't frickin' know!

The other thing that's kinda a warning sign for me with this situation is that I had similar sleep difficulties a year ago, in the winter and spring, when I was massively depressed. I was also not eating enough then--as in, I lost a bit too much weight and had friends express concerns for me. Currently, I am not depressed (just frequently cranky and/or hermity), but it's entirely possible that I am failing at proper eating simply because I haven't adjusted my caloric intake to match my caloric needs what with all this exercise I've been doing. Hmm...

The one positive thing about having trouble falling asleep last night was: my brain was busy coming up with tattoo ideas! I figured out how to wrap a California poppy around my right foot and ankle, and I also figured out how to integrate my lower back tat (seen in my userpic) into the lilies and other things I want to have on my back. I'm thinking about having a spill of ink across my lower back, like, from an ink well, with a quill dipped in it, and from there the tendrils of ink can connect to my other designs. I love the idea of ink-as-something-we-write-with + ink-as-tattoo-ink... it feels very polyvalent to me, which is something I like to do with my tattoos (the poppy has lots of meanings, too). Now, to find an artist I like and figure out other logistics.

internets, entertain me!
Comments are screened. If you've ever had a smidgen of a crush on me, feel free to comment below. I won't mock you, and only you and I will ever know. Then post it in your own LJ.

Meme borrowed from

mastergode